UNWOMAN'S LYRICS

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Unwoman Lyrics Alphabetically

Always Radical
Buried Alive
Caught Her
Commodity
Compliance
Cursing You
Death of Diplomacy
Dispossessed
Envy
The Face
Freedom From Religion
Girl In Black
Infinitesimal
In Gilead
Knowledge Scars
Lament For Peter Pan
The Little Mermaid
Magnanimous
Mediocrity
The Next Flower
Paresthesia
Power
Pull Me Under
Resolution
Running After Darkness
Under the Sand
Vacant Skies
When I Touch Myself
You

Always Radical

You alone shared my tears
As we watched such injustice unfold
I alone looked into your eyes
As rationale was retold

Most people argue
Pandering to the middle
You are always radical
Uncompromising
When others would follow their rules
You would be nobody's fool

Focused so strongly
As we shared those afternoons
Could you, so tranquil, understand my longing
To be so much more than friend to you

Most people argue
Toeing the party line
You won't be so easily defined
Uncompromising
When others say turn the other cheek
You will never risk appearing weak

I'll never say I disagree
But I had different priorities
I wanted to have someone beside me
Who wanted revolution as unblindly

And when I asked you
If I could give you just one kiss
I've never seen such indifference
Uncompromising
While I would have changed myself for you
You would always remain true

Buried Alive

The song claws at my throat
Buried alive
They need me to be weak
That's how they thrive

Even now they took my time, they take my time

My fingers twist in pain
Feeling their way
With just a fool's hope
For the escape

What I know is my own strength, is my own strength

You know I will resist
Though it may be in silence
I'll see my own rewards
In solitary triumph

What I know is my own strength
I kept it locked away
And so it will remain
Until I'm free someday

The song claws at my throat
Buried alive
And though I scream inside
It will survive

Caught Her

When we were girls
We were our own little world
It seemed that we were unbreakable
So we pushed the limits

Unbearable poverty makes you think
anything's better than what you have
Unspeakable acts seems exciting
You'll sacrifice everything for the chance

But if I could, if I could, if I could have caught her
Would she now be free?
If I could, if I could, if I could have caught her
Would she ever forgive me?

I was all she had, I still
Feel I somehow failed her
I know I was not to blame it was
Only our silence that betrayed her

When they came to take her
She went without a fight
I watched from inside the closet
Protecting myself in the black of night

But if I could...

I could pretend I don't care
Wherever she is, what they do to her
In that moment we were severed (Her submission)
But we were girls together

We were girls together...
Once upon a time

Commodity

Despite all my protests
Its simplicity
Calls me to its breast
The comfort of normality
What I want is to be a commodity
From here it's just too easy

Oh to be typical
Just as selfish as
To be pandered to like the middle class

'Cause there's too many stars
Not enough sky
Why should I even try?

At the end of the day
My eyes dry and red
It's a simple balm
To soothe my troubled head
Media somewhat true
I enjoy it because I'm told to

Placated and satisfied
By mass entertainment
They grovel for me as I won't do for them again

Living vicariously
Through celebrity
That is how we can be happy

Oh to be typical
Just as selfish as
To be pandered to like the middle class

'Cause there's too many stars
Not enough sky
There's so much beauty, too few eyes

What I want is to be a commodity
Only then I will be free

Placated and satisfied
By mass entertainment
They grovel for me as I won't do for them again

'Cause there's too many stars
Not enough sky
Why should I even try?

What I want is to be a commodity
Fron here it's just so easy
(August 2004)

Compliance

If only I could be
Docile and compliant
If only I could fit her shoes

If only I could be
The doll that you imagine
I'd proudly shape myself into your muse

If only she knew
The future she was after
She would never choose
eternity with you

It's not her place
It's not her style I'm afraid

If only it would prove
Subservience to you
I'd gladly cut myself just as she would

But right in front of you
That I could not do
A lady never lets a man see her blood

Cursing You

For so long you, you were the one
The standard against which
All others were compared
And I thought since my feelings never changed
You were the one for me

Now I'm cursing you for letting me hope
Cursing your push and pull
Hating you for ever letting me go
And making me feel responsible

When you told me you would be with
It seemed too good to be true
When you changed your mind (and you changed it so fast)
I knew we were through

Now I'm cursing you for letting me hope
Cursing your push and pull
Hating you for ever letting me go
And making me feel responsible

Now that you're all alone I'm with someone new
Suddenly your fears are gone you believe I loved you

Now I'm cursing you for hoping for me again
Cursing your push and pull
Hating that you changed your mind back
And I was not responsible

Death of Diplomacy

When the buildings fell I was not afraid of terrorism
I was afraid of my own nation's call to repression and pre-emptive aggression
Now I see my fears were justified
And our fearless leaders once again they lied

Why will he never tell us the real reasons?
Propaganda wins over real information
Redistribution of wealth justifies murder
Enforcing one mandate by breaking another

While you pretend it's business as usual
The American way of life is not negotiable
Oh you pretend it's business as usual
The American dream is possible (even if only for you)

I want to trust my government, I don't need to be further radicalized
But what choice do I have when there's no way to rationalize
His power has corrupted him, like those he fights, absolutely
And I was not scared of terrorism until he killed diplomacy

While you pretend it's business as usual
The American way of life is not negotiable
Oh you pretend it's business as usual
The American dream is possible (even if only in his speeches)
(March 2003)

Dispossessed

Half a world away I waited, silent
You'd kept me hanging on while I knew I needed distance
You finally threw me down, no promise anymore
Our words of love, delusions fell apart, copulating on the floor

And summer came and destroyed any other words
Now I can never call that lust by any other name
And you could tell those lies only while spring's blossoms grew
So I left my door open wide for something new

Now I fly through summer's air solely dispossessed
I feel the wind between my legs where once your hand caressed
How could I have been so blind to your fallacies?
Now thanks to slowly severed bonds I've risen to my knees and summer --

Summer came, days grew long
Everything you told me was wrong
For you knew all along
What you'd do to me
And in the spring you said those words
You said them, how you cried them
You said those words -- FOREVER -- you said them but you lied them

How can I stand at the crossroads without doubt?
How can I move forward, trusting now, without desire?
How will autumn fall between, inside our jaded hearts?
How can I touch without igniting fatal fire?

And she said "Stop looking to the heavens for omens, for love:
The answer lies within and it's always 'NO'
No more lies, no more hope"

(Summer burnt our reason)
But you were so, so full of promise
Or was that just PROMISCUITY?
And summer fades.
(September 1997)

Envy

Who is this girl?
Mysterious and silent, invading my world

She's been on both sides of envy now
Patience has paid off at last
Knowing not what she now enjoys
Only that her time with you ends too fast

Ooh if only she could see herself
Through your admiring eyes
Ooh if only she understood
How I despise this loss, this competition

She's been on both sides of envy now
Hard work has paid off at last
Knowing not what she now destroys
Only that her time with you ends too fast

Ooh if only I could just ignore
This feeling of rejection, this sorrow
Ooh if only I could see myself
In your arms tomorrow

I've been on both sides of envy now
But I'll win in the end
When your night with her is done
I know you'll be all mine again
(December 2002)

The Face

oh, to think that I found someone new
in the place where I was born
looking for you
the words that you spoke
both shallow and true
and no tears came to my eyes
upon gazing in yours, so blue
and all was the same
but I'm no longer in love
and the words, they were always shallow
on the nights when we would touch

looking at the face
that launched a thousand ships as she said
but there's no beautiful suffering
in the face of the undead

and memory I held so dear to me
now I see was only idolatry
and I can still se the picture of my tears
but no longer remember the feeling
and youth, so blind
I'd sought to find a way back to arms so cold
but I find myself now
so far above the person I see, you've always been

to think, you made me who I am
but now I DO IT BETTER
and I'm not afraid to dance before your eyes
eyes that never cried for me
a simple casualty, I spin
someone to cling to
someone new:
a product of you?
(september 1997)

Freedom From Religion

All we want is freedom from lies
Freedom to create our own lives
To be human, simply; to live without your fucked up morality

You can't legislate reverence
Our cultures are our own
There is no god for us
We can't believe what we know is false

Stop prostheletizing
We are all laughing at your blind faith
We have no fear of hell: life is for the living

Freedom from religion
This is what democracy sounds like
(December 2000)

Girl In Black

What can you do when there's no one left to turn from
When you're alone in your artificial world
What can you do when there's no one left to frown at
What can you say when there's no one left to scorn

Sit and drown your sorrows in a cup of jealousy
Tell them all of your superior sadness, blacker than the sea
Speak of all you hate, all that's fake
All the pretense of the ones who look like you
Who copied whom?

This girl in black is her own frozen ocean
Afraid of baring her skin to the sun

You've found a way to disguise your emptiness
By accusing other children of that very same sin
And some are amused, most see through your facade
While you remain blind to hypocrisy within
(August 1997)

Infinitesimal

(It is uncontrollable.
I hunt my predator, as he is intent upon such games of cat and mouse.

Only on nights like this will I forget the enemy Time
On nights we float separate through smoky rooms,
Through silhouettes' spinning, drumbeats of the dead,
Iridescence, incessant rainbows flashing, and mirrors.
We are infinitesimal. We are too small to wonder.)

The echoes fade each season and return
I am haunted by "We have all the time in the world"
Because you, my young older man, won't deceive me with permanence
You will never lie or let me hope

In these electric daydreams I search for you
Here are the empty streets, the forest, the dancefloor of tacit desires,
Here is the night you slept on the floor,
Here is the night of rain which I will always remember

But I have seen cascades of tears running away from me
At the end of these years -- growing up's not all it should be
You're so fixed in your ideals: you'll be victorious
(Refuse to try these appeals) against your own happiness.

This electricity never faded, now memory holds me secure.
By morning pain will be dried, brine round our eyes.
And I am always warm, always satisfied

Because we are infinitesimal. We are too small, too small to wonder.

Now is the trial, the test of faith.
I remain faithful in my quest for understanding
You, the greatest mystery of all
I am only a wasp slayer; I am both hunter and prey,
And I remember in devoted solitude

Oh, I have seen cascades of tears....

We are infinitesimal. We are too small, too small to doubt
When happiness rests at our feet
We are infinitesimal. We are....
(May 3 and June 23, 1998)

In Gilead

(Nolite te bastardes carborundorum)

Will I buckle under?
Will I become just what they want me to be?

(Here in terror indentity crises are so petty)
How can we submit to this?
Separated in red

Our identities
Split three ways
(Will I submit)
You have reduced us to our fertility
(Or will I be martyred, uselessly?)

What of OUR sacrifice?

A womb
a cunt
a dried-out shell

Your ("His") future
Your present
Your obligation

How can we submit?

I want to be defiant.
I want to tell them off.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum...
Will I believe that?
Will I believe that hope?

(Don't let the bastards grind you down.)
February, 2001

Knowledge Scars

Such a lovely fall from grace
Such a pretty tearful face
Silence rules falsely empty hearts
In this fevered, cold embrace

Intuition's wrong, though dreams implore so strongly
Upon these wings of fire no other has desired so
Could my hope be killed within another sin, oh
I'd touch your soul again but pretense wears so thin, within

If only I could wait; if only I could have faith
In love -- in love -- like yesterday
Then along you come, so cool, emotionless
And I can only open my arms, close my eyes, and wait

Knowledge scars with twisted limbs
Always given, given in
Torn by vapid lust
Deny our broken trust.
(July 1997, November 1998)

Lament For Peter Pan

Sweet unrest grows sour -- striving, excruciating
yet wanting so badly to atone...
"Go, then and scorn fidelity. Guilt will follow."

This tightrope I walk slices through my feet as the are clay
As if I were meant to fall into both sides of sorrows (so grave, so deep)
To be forced by guile and guilt which so manipulate
For I have paid in insincerity for my small mistakes

I fear the imminent gravity of aborted wishes
I have seen before through eyes like his
I know the pain separation gives
And he hasn't yet learned
Forever never means forever....anymore, anymore, anymore...did it ever?

This is for washing the sorrows away
From these feet like clay...

The rope now gives way, and I know where I stand
He's within, without, and so very over
Like a sweet, sweet dream into which I'll never step again, anymore...
(But there are other dreams, oh yes)

* Well in the night I dream about you
In the day I find no rest
Just the thought of you, my darling
Sends aching pains all through my chest

Days grow longer and enamored with the spring
Longer now I watch your face, blue in the silent dusk
But how long will hopes remain inside, entombed, beseeching us
And how long till your faraway eyes will reach for me
Will they ever reach again?
Do I hold no mystery? (anymore...)
And how can we romanticize
Once those burning eyes
Have wrapped around my flesh, so consuming my enigma
Is there nothing left?
anymore, anymore, anymore...

This remorse will never disappear
While he refuses to dry his tears
Our guilty hands never rinse clear
So we remain blind in fear -- and never love

**Oh, never again to be swept off my feet, nevermore nevermore nevermore
And never again know the hope so sweet, nevermore..
But "nevermore?" I've said it before, Nevermore...
And always the same find the lies, all the blame lies within, evermore, evermore
But you taught me to hate this slow loss of emotion, this motion toward
death, toward stillness, The oceans of blood from your lips as you let out the pain;
I feel mine in your words till we've both been drained
Though ever I grow colder, my hopes never wane to leave me so alone
Alone in my dreams forgetful of these, my first silver idols
But electric as daydreams are still, I fear I'll watch you grow ever duller
If you ever let me touch you, if my mind gets any fuller with time
If I see through your words to a heart frail as mine, delicate as ice in April
For only the truly unreachable can still hold fascination for such as we
anymore, anymore, anymore, anymore....

* Well, when I'm dead and in my coffin
With my feet turned toward the sun
Come and sit beside me, darling,
Come and think on the way you've done

*from folk song, "East Virginia"
* & **not included in Knowledge Scars version

These words express a wide, almost schizophrenic range of emotions. The
first and second halves are about two separate people, and the conflict of
having "thoughts for one/designs for both." It was intended to be my own
version of Joy Division's "Something Must Break" but of course shares
nothing but the theme. It's also about losing the ability to idolize as we
grow older, a topic many of my songs deal with.

The sometimes unconventional music (it begins in 5/4 time, the full piano
version includes a few bars of funeral march and a bassline by the first gothic
boy I ever knew, uses a wholetone scale at the dramatic point, and is full of
movement and change) seems appropriate to me for each different set of
words.
(January-February 1998)

The Little Mermaid

"Are you not fonder of me than of all the rest?" cried her eyes
"Yes, you are dearest of all to me -- you, the silent one; if not no one, then you."

But then he speaks of her -- the unknown, a false angel.
The mermaid chokes in fear, but still she hopes...

How can you want something more than me? I give my life for yours, sacrifice my voice
Only in hope, a thousand knives each step, that I may share your soul
Oh, if only I could sing, or if this heart had wings, I would be your angel.

Word travels fast, soon despair comes crashing, crashing down
Only blood and sisters' love can save her life now.
A thousand knives. She dances into death that night.
The sea so cold, black, unyielding.
A promise to fall. So only murder can save her now, but what's the use
Her love is gone either way, so why fight?

How can you want more than me? I rewrote my future in foam for you
I gave my life to see this through and am betrayed. And disintegrate. Oooh...

Oh -- Why must true illusion, not love, conquer all?
(April 1998)

Magnanimous (For J.D.M)

This house is now barren and cold
Where once it was scented, overgrown
So glad to be leaving this misery
Silence, eternal sterility

Someone said, "You want to think you are good"
No: I don't care what I think

When most people would rather hate than communicate
You are different, you have something to say, now

But now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say?
Could you understand my desperation
Magnanimous you, understand my attention
Unwanted as it was

Hope is necessary, just like trust
In every situation I find myself
Grasping for some connection, anything, something like community
But most people would rather hate than communicate
You are different; you care what I have to say

But now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say
Could you understand my anger at them
Magnanimous you, understand my reaction
Irrational as it was

Now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say
What can I say that will sound the same
On the other side of the electronic divide
(July 2000)

Mediocrity (life of whoredom)

You sleaze in everything you do. Once you sodomized a child, and never even
knew her name. That night I lay and wished for none of what you tried to
give me. "You're like two sirens" you said. But I never called you.

Still I always wanted my name in lights
What I thought I could do for fame, back in those nights

But now I will not submit to mediocrity
"Angel named Mercy," who could that be?
Any fool could see through you
Ephemeral bullshit is not for me

I was a 25 dollar whore for you
I wasted my talent on your worthless crap
I was no one, trying to make you look good
The worst job I've ever had to give

(I'll never submit again)
Nevermore will I submit to mediocrity
Your self-serving ignorance, hypocrisy
I was ashamed by our name and your pretension
I know this life of whoredom is not for me

In all your decadence I will not lie
(an inside joke, July 1999)

The Next Flower

Words by Kat Mulkey

You look so intriguing
In that old-fashioned clothing
Your eyes so alluring
So young, yet so knowing

In black fishnet stockings
And dark velvet gown
You visit the nightclubs
All over town

You meet a young man there
You know the type
In exchange for a slow dance
You're his for the night

But boys don't love girls like that
Past the promiscuous hour
They leave your cherished blossom
And fly to the next flower

You let him caress you
In the back of an old car
For proclaiming your beauty
You let him go so far

You're searching for love you say
But that's not how you'll find it
Beneath the flesh you're still alone
And you pretend you don't mind it

But boys don't love girls like that
Past the promiscuous hour
They leave your cherished blossom
And fly to the next flower

Boys don't love girls like that
They don't take them home
To meet mother, make breakfast, or write to you
But this you've always known

Paresthesia

Do you ever wonder, wonder who
Silently came, quickly left, left a flower for you?
He said "be wary of symbols" and I see them so clear
But I have dreams -- one of them is you -- they eclipse all my fear

Can you tell me why I dream of you?
Hungry and male, and her, long-lashed and beautiful-sad
Was the electricity only the sparks behind my eyes
In the redness of parched, scorched earth
Thirsty your eyes, or my blood

But its your smile in those moments that lets in hope
I subsist on this, I desist as you resist
But how twisted my desires grow
And when will I feel your eyes, your dark eyes
On my flesh, on my breast
Where I fear my displayed heart lies?

...and oh, the paresthesia when I pretend you want me
When my subconcious taunts me with this impossible dream....
(November 1999)

Power

Some people use words, gasps of air
Some use flesh, objects of desire seeking power
Either way, from either side, the desire is the same:

Love, whatever that means, whatever it brings, I'll do what I can, to find it
Some follow, others seek
Are we what we feel or what we think?

What can I do to touch you?
When we are only red lights in a grey haze
And I can hardly see you

Why when I close my eyes
I feel your body
Why do I put so much faith in someone I hardly know?
Is it my need to hope?

What do I seek in you?
What's at the core of me
Do I really long for autonomy?

Do I want to be the object of your fantasies
Or are you my dream
Or my icon, so reduced
Or my innocence, so long dismissed?

Love, whatever that means, whatever that brings, I'll do what I can, to find it
Some follow, other seek
You are what you feel

What's at the core of me: do I really seek autonomy?
Or are you a center of power
Or are you who I want to be?

Pull Me Under (Into Your Abyss)

I watch oceans breath through rain falling behind your eyes
You see me as a goddess, the mother of your pleasure

The sky explodes through your lace curtains
We become one in the hurricane's eye

Clouds exhale in whispers and you murmur
"Pull me back now, in reverie."

We drift away,
Sink below reflections into unconsciousness.

The sun rose and it was too bright
The sky fell and we cried
In sympathy with the stars.

You, the dawn, have melted my frozen sea.
September 6, 1996

Resolution

The guilt anchored me
But your face could launch a thousand ships
And the sky on those nights would steal any heart
And now the remorse is yours
I hung her on your wall for a reason -- bloody hands, roses
I would have done anything to be rid of her
Except give up hope of touching you, so I succumbed

I have always been blind
I will never learn to let go
(For now I purge the lies)
You failed, you failed like all the rest,
At least I though you'd try
But my dreams of true love disappeared in half a week

I touched you, I found your heart
I found it frail but unkind
I'll never lay a hand on your soul again.

But God how I long to have those nights back
The time before bitterness took hold
Innocence was painted black and violet
In the violence of floods, in the oceans of memories
Cascading from this punctured heart
That still cries for new wounds...

The sorrows couldn't wash away as quickly as love did
No time passed before silence and proverbial illusion conquered all
And no tears fell after that night, the fall, but nostalgia burns
And I am always warm
This is my new tightrope
I can't see beneath my feet -- I could fall into space
This loss of hope is eternal
You never believed we were infinitesimal; I still see it --

On nights like this when the sky falls
I can still resist hoping
I have no more dreams of love
I only dream of telling my story
(Still I wait for someone to sweep me away, to awaken me to illusory bliss)
There is only this song
You are absolved
Will I ever be possessed by another?
(Never wish for the impossible)
There is only this song
(November 1998)

Running After Darkness (for W.H.)

Those nights of chasing your ghost
Following the sound of your voice, echoing through my head
Running after Darkness, running after the rain
Have finally come to an end

After all my hope has died
Obsession the brightest fire
Burned in me so long how could I
Give up all me dreams without a fight

Night after night I'd lay alone in bed
Watching your pictures dance on my wall
Listening to a childish heart
Beating hope through it all

Day after day I went searching for people like you
Trying so hard to become someone you could love
Finding that without you in my mind
I am all I ever wanted to be

And if I could break my love for you
How could I ever trust again
You caused those rainbows to fall
Condemned me to walk

Alone through streets which yearn for my love
Naked but for this jaded smile
Could I only be innocent again
Just to watch my heart -- as it's broken

Now those nights of chasing your ghost
Following the sound of your voice, echoing through my head
Running after Darkness, running after the rain
Have finally come to an end
...an end...an end....

Shall I cry one last time for the death of these tears?
(July 1996 and March 1997)

Under The Sand

Within, without and over, you are to me
Under the sky, under the sand buried your face beneath
Only for our comet somewhere far away
Denying the pain we cause ourselves you should stay
The truth will come; I can't go on
Let it wash into the sea

Why don't you stay if it feels so good inside me?
Condemn my words
Within, without.

Now is the time when silver ties have come undone
Broken promises, mistrust, never the only one
I could wish all I can on the heavens above
But never restore the faith we had, in what you called Love
(June 1997)

Vacant Skies (For K)

(Oh pretty boy, how can I feel sad for you?
I don't even know your words are true
And this light is a dying star)
Never more will I wish for vacant skies to pull me in
All my memories are nightmares
I'll sleep alone all of my life
For no one wants to touch me
When I expected you
To SAVE ME FROM MONOTONY
To show me some sympathy
But no one who has ever hurt can feel for me
The child of a happy home and of the sea
When any minute I could be destroyed
(By just one word from you)
(August 1999)

When I Touch Myself

Don't call me tonight
It would make it impossible

What I realized today is that in loving you I forgot to love myself
Then I was nothing, you lost interest
More importantly, I lost interest in myself

This is what has happened every time
I finally saw the error of obsessive altruism

So now I dance to remind myself that I still have a body
Even when I am alone
And that I don't think about you
When I touch myself
(November 21, 2000)

You

I won that fight
The pain was mine
I sunk to martyrdom

So... you'll never see how you betrayed me
Soon there will be no more -- you'll no longer plague me
How could you think to take away my home
How could I have thought to sacrifice myself for you again?
Will we never speak again? Now it's a war of self-concern
And I have no more sympathy for you who so deserted me...

But you were once someone to hold on to
You were all I had to put my faith into
And throughout all of my blackest days
You were the one I thought I knew would stay (out of compassion)

And now the only thing that gives me pleasure is knowing
You betrayed him too, and oh what will he do to you, when he finds out
You fucked his enemy
You fucked his devil-counterpart, and he's such an angel, oh your violent angel
will he -- what will he do to you -- will he wish you luck in nonexistence too?
I love knowing, all of those nights you deserted me. you betrayed him, too, oh ...
And I know I fought for myself for once, and I love it.

And hope, oh you finally killed
Let him break the vessel I had filled
With trust, with perfect trust
And I thank you for forcing me to learn
To never hope, never more
Now, I say, you are nothing to me
I say you are nothing to me now

Then why, every time I close my eyes you're there
And I relive it all
The pain of loss, the fear
But I, I've already been there once, why every night again, again...
And the last dream that I had, we laughed together one last time
About our mutual hatred
(October 1995, April 1999)